Mindset/Psychology | Page 7 of 12 | Make This Your Last Time

March 23, 2022August 5, 2024 - 1 Comment

Feeling Worried or Anxious Waiting for Bar Results?

First two weeks after the bar exam: Excited over congratulatory meals even though you haven’t passed yet

In between: Alternating between boredom and nightmares that remind you that you already took the bar exam and it can’t hurt you anymore

Last two weeks before bar results: HELP ME

In your desperation, you seek advice regardless of who it is…

You: “How do I handle the post-exam stress and anxiety of waiting for bar results?”

Your drunk uncle: “Don’t dwell on it… Trust in yourself… Don’t think about your answers…”

You nod politely and close the door behind you.

One problem: Our brains don’t always listen to reason! It’s hard not to think about the most important exam of your career.

In your most private moments, when all is still, you get flashbacks to the exam, relive the things you did wrong, and blow it up to the worst proportions.

The smallest error, realizing that you answered a few MBE questions wrong or made one misstatement in an entire essay, can seem like the difference between passing and failing. (“It WAS spousal testimonial privilege, not marital communications privilege! FUCK”)

You can’t just tell your brain to “stop thinking about it”… It’s inevitable that you’ll think about it. But you can change HOW you think about it and ease the agony a bit.

After screaming into your pillow, try these three ways to reframe your situation to reduce waiting anxiety (more details follow):

The worst case: What’s the absolute worst that could happen?
Reducing anticipation: Mentally push back D-Day
Don’t be miserable in advance

February 5, 2022December 12, 2024 - 3 Comments

“I’m so unmotivated to study for the bar exam”

Feeling unmotivated to study for the bar exam?

There’s a lot of talk about motivation around this time of bar season.

Let’s first distinguish being unmotivated from being mentally exhausted.

If you’re TIRED, don’t accumulate exhaustion and enter a downward spiral. Stop at a reasonable point. Take an early day off. Reset your mind. Go the fk to sleep.

Passive activities like watching (or rewatching) lectures, transcribing notes, or “reading” for hours also can be DRAINING if that’s all you do. Thinking about doing it is more exhausting than actually doing it. Don’t autopilot on default to avoid doing what helps you learn. Be more methodical and deliberate.

This is pretty boring stuff! It’s normal if you just can’t or don’t want to study right now. But this feeling will pass if you break eye contact with bar prep for a while. Your energy is at least as important as time, as we’ll talk about in the next email.

If you have the energy but still aren’t feeling motivated, that’s a separate issue. Being able to self-motivate is key. Otherwise, you might wait for a long time for things that make you say “I needed this today!” and do nothing about it.

Here are some strategies to fix the “unmotivated” issue:

January 18, 2022January 18, 2022 - No Comments

Setting Up Clear Goals You Can Follow for the Bar Exam

When preparing for the bar exam, set up clear goals you can follow.

Say someone asks you what you want. You say that you want to pass the bar. Great, a north star that you can reach toward!

But the end goal itself doesn’t tell you what to do at any given moment. It often makes you feel good about the future end result, but it doesn’t mean you will do the needed things in between now and the desired result.

For example, a new year’s resolution like “I want to lose weight” gives you a nice self-affirmation and a burst of motivation.

However, 80% of such resolutions fail by February. There are many actions required, such as watching your calories and macros, exercising, and doing so consistently. Simply jumping in with a new gym membership is a recipe for your goal getting ghosted.

There are three main components to good goals…

November 3, 2021September 24, 2022 - 1 Comment

“I failed the bar exam. How can I possibly recover? What is left for me?”

“I failed the bar exam.”

“I wish I passed the bar exam.”

Powerful realities that no amount of Law of Attraction could reshape and manifest.

It feels like the end of the world. You’re too depressed to do anything. You feel like there’s no solution.

Regretful, helpless, ashamed, depressed, frustrated, indignant, unable to fight fate like your favorite superhero. You want to punch yourself instead.

People who don’t understand say:

This is just a test.

This is just a person.

This is just a random photo.

…

But this is an important test.

But they were an important person you invested all your heart and effort to.

But it was an important memento infused with memories and sentiments.

October 10, 2021January 11, 2022 - 2 Comments

How to Overcome Failing the Bar Exam and Change Your Reality

A law firm was about to give me a job offer.

Turns out they had a strict GPA cutoff of top 10%. Even the partner who pushed for me got in trouble for ignoring their antiquated policy.

The gatekeepers said: No.

That’s OK. A different firm had given me an offer the day before.

I accepted it. I withdrew from yet another interview process.

But there was an issue with a conflict check that took nearly a month to conduct. They rescinded the offer. I had already moved apartments to be closer to the new firm.

Blue balled at the last minute again! Three birds in the hand, nothing to show for it.

“Who the hell are you to compare my failure to yours? Waa… at least you still have a job!”